Dinner Party Do’s: A Guide to an Effortless and Stylish Dinner Party

Living

Oct 8

Keep it Simple. That’s the key. There. We’re done.

Seriously though, a dinner party has a few moving parts that all need to feel effortless. First is the food, second there’s the drink, third is the tabletop and overall décor. (I should probably put down lighting as the fourth since you can almost fix anything with good lighting.)

The Nibbles.

Again keep it simple! Listen, I love pigs in a blanket as much as the next person; but, the last thing I want to do is worry about the oven when guests are arriving and when I want to be present and chatting with my friends. So— 1 platter of cheese, crackers, nuts and fruit. Can be dried fruit for sure, if it’s fresh fruit keep it one bite and something that goes with cheese, like grapes, figs or some slices of apple (juice them with lemon to prevent browning). Feel free to add pâté or other assorted meats, like salami or prosciutto. Make sure things are one bite/one hand. But listen, you can even keep it as simple as one great cheese, a handful of crispy crackers, and a bunch of perfect grapes on a cutting board. And a few ramekins of almonds on the side.

The Food.

Dinner Party Dish Math: 3 Dishes max, plus dessert.

My golden rule: Make ahead as much as possible. Try and have two dishes made ahead of time and/or served room temperature (or able to be reheated easily). Salads can be assembled and put in the fridge and then dressed before serving. Grains like quinoa or couscous can be made ahead of time and served at room temp. What’s ‘ahead?’ ‘Ahead’ can be the day before or that morning— give yourself time so that when guests are coming you aren’t sautéing and chopping and the sink is full of dishes. Open-concept kitchens are nice but not when there’s a big mess for all the guests to see. As host you have two duties— to be gracious and the best version of yourself and to serve some good food. That’s sort of it. So don’t let ‘em see you sweat. I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for 24 people in my NYC apartment and more than once I’ve totally flubbed a dish and had to remake the entire thing. Thankfully I gave myself that insurance of enough time to do so. Nobody wants stuffing that tastes of sugar (‘cause I thought I was adding salt) or a pumpkin maple tart with a weeping soggy crust. I would be the one weeping if I didn’t have time to remake that tart and I had to serve the mess that came out of the oven.

As a rule— when making a dish for a dinner party I always prefer to make one large thing that everyone can portion out, rather than a bunch of small individual little things. Again, simpler is easier. So, do a large slow roasted salmon fillet or a big Dutch oven of braised short ribs. Save the individual beef wellingtons or the mini soufflés for date night. Big platters of food are inviting for everyone, keeps it causal and avoids extra kitchen time fiddling with fussy small things. I always serve salads on platters because it’s easier for everyone to get a bit of everything— with salad bowls all the good stuff like nuts and raisins fall to the bottom and everyone has to do the dig.

Serve family style or buffet.

Time for Dessert!

Ask someone to bring or make dessert. How’s that for simple? Also, dessert can be a platter of perfect fruit— in-season and from the farmers market— the best cherries or the juiciest apricots can be the perfect dessert. If you love to bake, then go ahead and make something— but do it the day before, such as my Lemon Cake with Elderflower Glaze or my Poached Pears (which only get better the next day).

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Fancy a Drink?

When guests arrive— after your ‘hello’s’ and ‘you look fabulous’— the next thing you should do is offer them a drink. Whether you have the wherewithal to make it yourself or you direct them to the bar, offering a drink within the first 5 minutes of guest arrival gets the dinner party vibe going.

Again, keep your bar set up to the essentials. If you know what your friends like to drink keep it focused— for my crew, it’s pretty much vodka and tequila. Bottle of soda, one or two mixers like cranberry juice and grapefruit juice, some ice, and some bowls of lemon and lime wedges. Done.

Let people serve themselves. You are not a bartender! If you can, make the first drink but then after that let them help themselves. If there are more than 10 guests— if you can— hire a bartender for a few hours who can also help bus dishes and take out the trash. Again, the goal is that you the host enjoy your party too!

Artful Décor (and Lighting!)

It’s almost as easy as flipping a switch. So, no overhead lights— leave those off. Lamps, floor lamps and the like (on dimmers if possible) along with candlelight will set the mood.

Keep candles unscented, nobody wants to smell lavender and cedar while eating their salmon. A handful of votives or tealights on the coffee table and along the mantle and side tables adds atmosphere with minimal effort.

I rarely go in for a full themed dinner with food or décor (my ONE exception is Chinese New Year’s where the dragon heads and fans come out) so again, keep décor easy and elegant, ‘cause this is where things can go off the rails if you’re focused on the food. I’ve often times overbought flowers in the hopes of assembling ambitious centerpieces when at the same time food was bubbling on the stovetop.

Fresh flowers are your friends. Focus on one kind or one color. For example in early summer do bunches of tulips, or go for a mix of all-white flowers. This’ll give you maximum impact. Don’t stress about some formal arrangement— keep it easy and quick. My failproof method (when doing buffet style and the middle of the table isn’t reserved for food) is to use a series of small low vases of different shapes and sizes— small drinking glasses, bud vases, small mason jars— and scatter them down the center of the table and intersperse votives.

For family style, keep it even simpler, a handful of votives are all you need— the food is the centerpiece! Besides, you don’t want to risk knocking over flowers when platters are being passed.

Always do remember your powder room. A small vase of a flower or two is a lovely touch for your guests. And here you can have your scented votive.

Tabletop

Placemats or runners are great for a casual easy look. I don’t have the patience for tablecloths (ironing etc.) but a great alternative— especially in summer— is to use a few different Turkish towels. They are flat weave and usually in a tonal stripe. Use two overlapped at angles for a super casual beachy vibe.

Sea salt in small dishes. Everyone’s salt level is a bit different so some good fleur de sel in little bowls are indispensable. Small tiny bowls? Yes— buy 2 or three— you’ll be surprised at how many uses you’ll have for them around the kitchen besides salt.

Cloth napkins. No paper napkins please. Your guests and the environment will thank you, too. And they are an instant upgrade in the chic category.

Place settings. When dishes are served family style everything comes to the table at once. The benefit? One dinner plate. One set of cutlery per person. One knife, one fork. No need for salad forks and/or fish knives or what have you. Water glass. Wine glass. When I serve dessert, I bring out a stack of plates and a handful of forks and set them down next to whatever sweet treat I’m serving, and then I can serve, add the fork the plate, and pass it down. See? Super easy.